In Need of a Ladder

I have seriously fallen off the wagon. Not in the sense that I am pigging out and gaining weight rapidly. I have just created a new pattern over the past several weeks of not being as strict on my choices. I haven't gained weight, I just haven't lost any either. Now that I am actively trying to lose again, I am finding it hard to say no to some of what I have been allowing myself.

Last night I had a piece of birthday cake. Now that may not seem like a big deal, but I can't expect to lose pounds if I eat a piece of lard-frosted 10,000,000 calorie birthday cake chased by a scotcheroo (yeah, I had one of those last night too). This morning, I admitted my cheat to Jeff and he promptly threw away the rest of the cake. The kids don't like frosting (yeah, I know it's weird) and Jeff could care less for it, so this cake has been in my house begging for attention. I caved.

It makes you feel so powerless and like a failure to realize I made really heathly choices all day yesterday and then topped it off with crap.

I need to make better choices. I need to take back my power over food. I had it for months and then allowed the bad choices to creep back in. Not gaining weight somehow gave me permission in my mind. I can't let that happen again.

Time to climb back on the wagon.