Apology, To Myself

The reason I haven’t posted anything new in so long, is simply due to the fact that nothing new has occurred. I have weighed the same for two weeks. I eat the same low fat/low calorie fare most days, although now and again I have partaken in a cookie or Mexican dinner. I know what needs to happen for my weight loss to continue and I am having trouble finding the motivation. Yep, you guessed it. Exercise. I haven’t been a size 18 in years and to be honest, I think I became content here and began giving myself permission to stay. That really is not what I want, so I hope to begin posting daily again and bring my efforts to the forefront.

Special thanks to Jane for taking me shopping and reminding me I do not want to be limited to Lane Bryant (uck!) and the "Womens" section of department stores filled with elastic waist pants.

Breakfast of Champions?

Out of oatmeal. Sick of yogurt.

How many calories are in three bites of a cream-filled vanilla longjohn? After three bites, to the horror of my coworkers, I threw it in the trash.

Finally Reached It: My Plateau

I knew it was coming. Weight has seemingly been flying off me for weeks on end now. My scale is telling the same story over and over again for days now.

Time to step up my game and begin to exercise.

Damn.

Bring It.

Tough morning at work, so boss buying pizza and chicken wings for all? Co-workers 40th birthday so doughnuts and bagels stacked to the ceiling? Surrounded by "oh my God this is good pizza" and "try one of the cinnamon rolls" and "these wings rock"?

Yep.

My intake so far today today:

• 2 cups coffee with Splenda and French Vanilla creamer (fat free)
• 1 packet Weight Control Instant Oatmeal (Sorry Jane - I'll try the good stuff soon)
• Meatloaf with broccoli/cheese sauce (290 calories, 7 gms fat)
• Chocolate Pudding snack (sugar free)
• Peach Yogurt (fat free)

New Jeans

Yes...I did it!

This weekend I purchased a pair of Levi's 550 Relaxed Boot Cut Blue/Violet stretch jeans. Size 18. They may be slightly tight in the waist, but my ass rocks in them!

Sunday Evening Post: Week Nine

I haven't made any real weekly posts in some time now. My goal was to get through the holidays without the added pressure of my weightloss. Goal accomplished. The two weeks over the holidays my weight fluctuated. Three pounds up, two down, four up, three down. At one point I stopped getting on the scale all together.

As of today, all weightgain associated with the 2005 holiday gatherings is gone.

Current Weight: 191 pounds.

That gives me a 39 pound loss over the past nine weeks. It won't be easy to get to 175 by February 18th, but I'm going to give it my all.

All Hallow's Eve: 2006

As noted on my "other" blog, I have been feeling quite nostalgic today and read through some old posts and looked at some old pictures. Duchess Jane has the pics on her site from the 2005 All Hallow's Eve party. Looking at my costume, gave me today's motivation. I felt so big and unattractive in preparation for that party, I didn't come up with my costume until the day before. An even then, I dressed as a hobo clown. That's how I felt; down and out, like a clown. That's always been my schtick. Jennie isn't very pretty, but she sure is funny.

Not anymore. Now I'm going to be a double threat; gorgeous and funny.

Today's Motivation: My 2006 All Hallow's Eve costume will be a Greek Goddess.

New Year, New Template, New Outlook

I decided the original template for this blog was too dark, much like my attitude lately. Pink has never really been a color of choice for me, but this new template reflects what I hope to be my newly developing rosey attitude. I would like to thank Bombadee for her comments and gentle reminder of my easily lost positivity.

I am back on track. I know it's not Sunday, but I want to share my current weight as of this morining; 195 pounds. I need to stop feeling frustrated and give myself a pat on the back for a 35 pound loss, and counting.

This weekend, I plan to finally go out and get a new pair of pants. I'm buying size 18, even if they are tight.

Motivation of the Day: New straight leg, dark denim blue jeans - size 18.

Update 11:20 a.m. = Okay, the new template lasted about 20 minutes at which point I couldn't stand it anymore. My attitude may be rosey, but my blog will be more tangerine.

An Admission

Okay, okay. You've caught me.

Last night, as Isaac and I watched reruns of The Biggest Loser, we sat on the couch armed with a half gallon of vanilla ice cream and a spoon. Ten minutes into our shared feast, purposly served in the bucket to make it impossible for me know how much I had eaten, the guilt overcame me. I put the ice cream away as Mr. Lips pleaded for "moor bite mommy, peas".

I can't change what I don't acknowledge.

I have to say out loud that this is not as easy as I make it out to be. I'm struggling to get back on track. I will get there, but please for no moment believe this is not the hardest thing I have done in a very long time.

If you're not with me, you're against me.

Today is the first day of the rest...

I did not accomplish my goal of maintaining my weight over the holidays. As of this morning, my scale shouted back at me the disappointing number of 199. Yes. That's a three pound gain.

Today, I return to the routine I had finally felt comfortable in before the invasion of cheese platters, taco dip, fudge, french toast casserole and frosted cookies. These enemies have retreated and I can begin to rebuild my kingdom of health.